Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
