I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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