just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
