It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
not ubering you a puppy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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