if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
