Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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