Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
