I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
