All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
