Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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