would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
