the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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