he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
