Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
