you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
