I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
