well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
