If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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