I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
