U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were trust falling into bushes
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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