Porn is love you can see.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
