I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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