Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
