I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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