We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
