make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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