I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
