When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
