The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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