She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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