Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I can tuck mytits in my pants
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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