Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize