I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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