I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
