My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
sex in a hospital.. check
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
