I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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