I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
