his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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