Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There are leaves in my underwear?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize