He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
