this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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