it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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