No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
