Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
and you said cock pushups were impossible
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
