dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
