I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
