if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
