tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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