i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
