He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
