I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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