bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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