Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Watching her eat just hurts me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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