Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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