this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
