I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
