You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
