I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
