..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
