You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
