I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Panties = found
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
