she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
