It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
