Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
