Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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