Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize