he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
