I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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