4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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